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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24324658">All I Want Is A Muffin (and maybe you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razer/pseuds/Razer'>Razer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Andi Mack (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, College Student Cyrus, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hospitals, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Nurse T.J.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:21:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24324658</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razer/pseuds/Razer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Cyrus was in a bad car accident he's confined to a hospital bed, and, therefore, has to live without chocolate-chocolate chip muffins for an undetermined amount of time. At least the nurse is pretty cute.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>184</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was supposed to be a short oneshot, but then it kind of got out of hand. So I split it up into a few chapters.<br/>Disclaimer: I'm not a nurse, and my knowledge of how hospitals actually work is pretty limited. So this is probably full of inaccuracies.</p><p>Anyways, I hope you like it :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The light was way too bright.</p><p>Cyrus squinted his eyes, the blinding white of the ceiling like fire behind his lids, and scrunched up his nose. He vaguely recognized the feeling of a smooth pillow underneath his head, and a blanket pulled up to his chest. Somewhere in the room was a beeping noise. Steady, like a heartbeat.</p><p>And then he remembered.</p><p>He was in hospital.</p><p>Great.</p><p>Cyrus let out a sigh. At least this time, it wasn’t his own fault. At least he hoped it wasn’t. He knew he’d been in a car accident, but the exact happenings were still kind of blurry in his mind. He wasn’t entirely sure what had happened after he had been hit, but as his eyes adjusted to the light and he looked down on himself he knew that it couldn’t have been a hospital trip just for fun. His right leg was in a cast and there were bandages all over his body, covering both of his arms and extending over his torso as well. His face felt swollen. As if he’d just been beaten to a pulp, or an entire swarm of bees had decided to view him as their ultimate threat.</p><p>He tried to push himself up, but quickly noticed his limbs feeling as if they were paralyzed. Like heavy weights pulling him down.</p><p>His eyes jerked to the door when he heard it being opened.</p><p>“Oh, good. You’re awake,” the man entering the room said. Blue scrubs covered broad shoulders and large hands were holding a clipboard. His dirty blond hair was meticulously styled, kept out of his face by what seemed like an abundance of hair gel. Looking over his smooth jawline, Cyrus felt like he couldn’t be much older than himself.<br/>
He looked intimidating. All tall and handsome, lips pressed into a tight line.</p><p>Cyrus felt himself gulp.</p><p>The man came closer until he was standing right next to him.<br/>
“I’m TJ, your nurse,” he said.<br/>
“Cyrus,” his voice sounded as if he’d just smoked an entire pack of cigarettes.<br/>
“I know,” the nurse offered him a small smile, “How are you feeling?”<br/>
“Like I just got hit by a car?”<br/>
The nurse’s eyebrows shot up, a small snort escaping his lips. “That sounds about right.” He pulled out a pen, his eyes wandering to the watch on his wrist, before writing down onto the clipboard. “Are you feeling any pain?”<br/>
Now that Cyrus thought about it, he didn’t. It was a weird combination. Feeling like a pulp, without actual pain. As if his body had just gone numb from being too messed up.<br/>
“Not really,” he said, “It just kind of feels like my body is one big, broken blob.”<br/>
Cyrus tried to push himself into an upright position once again, but he didn’t get far.<br/>
“No, no. Don’t do that,” the nurse gently put his hands on his shoulders, stopping his movement.<br/>
Cyrus narrowed his eyes at him. “Why?”<br/>
“You just got out of surgery. There are still anesthetics left in your system, which is why you’re not experiencing any pain just yet. But your body will hate you if you do that.”<br/>
“Move?”<br/>
The nurse nodded, “Move.”</p><p>“What can I do then?”</p><p>He shot him an apologetic look. “Right now, you should keep lying down. It would be best if you slept a bit more. Your body can use all the rest it can get. I’m just here to take your vitals, and then I’ll be out of your hair.”</p><p>Cyrus didn’t pay all that much attention to what exactly the nurse was doing. But with him standing so close, he couldn’t help but observe him a bit closer. He had really green eyes. Or maybe they were bluish? Cyrus couldn’t quite decide. Maybe it depended on how the light hit them.</p><p>He barely felt the nurse take his wrist, two fingers pressing down on the inside. The touch felt dull, like there was a layer of bubble wrap between his skin and the nurse’s hands. The nurse’s brows were furrowed in concentration, and Cyrus could almost swear that the tip of his tongue was peeking out of the corner of his mouth, as he jotted down notes onto his clipboard.</p><p>Cyrus’ eyes slowly wandered over the rest of the nurse’s appearance, and found themselves focusing on his name badge. <em>TJ. </em>Right, that was his name. Kind of a weird name to put on a name badge. Who even still went by their initials instead of their actual name?</p><p>“You okay?” the voice pulled him back from his own little world. Cyrus hadn’t noticed how intensely he had been staring at the nurse, a skeptical frown on his face, but now that the nurse was looking back at him, he couldn’t help but blush a bit. TJ raised his eyebrows at him, but there was an amused smile on his face.</p><p>“What does TJ stand for?” he finally blurted out, eyes wandering from the nurse’s face back to the name badge.<br/>
The nurse chuckled. “Thomas Jefferson.”<br/>
“Really?”<br/>
“No.”</p><p>Cyrus tried not to pout, but the small laugh that left TJ’s throat told him that he wasn’t very successful. The nurse put his pen away. “Okay, everything is looking good. If you start to experience any pain, you can press the button next to your bed. It will alert me or the nurse on duty. Try not to move too much and don’t stand up on your own. If you need anything, just press the button. I will be back later today to change your bandages, but for now, you should go back to sleep.”<br/>
“Cool,” Cyrus nodded, “I guess I’ll do that then.”</p><p>The nurse, shot him another smile. It kind of made him look soft, Cyrus decided. Maybe not all that intimidating, after all.<br/>
“Alright, sleep tight then.”</p><p>***</p><p>Cyrus didn’t know for how long he had been asleep, but the next time he opened his eyes, the sun was already setting outside.</p><p>And then he felt it. That hadn’t been there before.</p><p>His entire body ached. There was a stabbing sensation in his leg and he felt a searing pain spread through his veins, making his torso and arms feel as if they were on fire. The burning sensation pressed down on his chest, making it difficult to breathe. Was this what dying felt like?</p><p>Cyrus blindly reached for the call button next to his bed. Even that small movement of his arm hurt, sending another jolt through his body. His fingers searched for the button. He didn’t want to move his head and look where it was. That sounded like a horrible idea. When he finally felt the bump underneath his fingertips, he pushed it. Once. Twice. Then again. And again. Why was nobody coming?</p><p>Cyrus didn’t know for how long he had been pushing the button, but he didn’t stop until the door to the room finally opened and the nurse from before came in. Cyrus let out a groan. Or maybe it was a whine. It probably was a whine.</p><p>“On a scale from one to ten, how is your pain?” the nurse, TJ, asked.<br/>
“Maybe a seven? Or an eight?” Cyrus forced out, more like a question than an answer, “According to what criteria do you measure pain?”<br/>
TJ offered him a small smile, “If you feel like it’s a seven or an eight, it’s a seven or an eight.”<br/>
“Cool… eight then. Let’s just go for eight,” the words came out brokenly.</p><p>He watched as the nurse took out a syringe, carefully filling it with a translucent liquid, before injecting it into his infusion bag.<br/>
“It will take a few minutes before you’ll feel any relief. Is there anything else I can do for you?”<br/>
“Make it go faster?”<br/>
TJ shot him an apologetic smile. He took one of the chairs standing by the small table in the corner of the room and put it next to the bed, sitting down. “Why don’t you tell me something about yourself?” he had a gentle expression on his face, his eyes open and inviting.<br/>
“Like what?” Cyrus pressed out.<br/>
“Anything,” the nurse shrugged, “What do you do? When you’re not getting into car accidents, that is?”</p><p>The laugh that forced itself out of his throat made him wince. Even laughing hurt.</p><p>He took a deep breath, before saying with a raspy voice: “I’m a film production major.”<br/>
“That sounds cool,” TJ offered him an encouraging smile, “Have you already made some stuff?”<br/>
“Uhm,” Cyrus tried hard to concentrate on the man sitting next to him instead of the fact that his body was still very much in a state that felt like being burned alive. “I wrote and directed some short films?”<br/>
“That’s pretty awesome. You working on anything right now?”</p><p>This was actually kind of working. Being forced to think about other stuff than his pain, really helped with not focusing on, well, the pain. When Cyrus felt the sweet relief of drugs in his system, he felt himself relax into the bed.<br/>
“Better?” TJ asked.<br/>
He nodded. “Better.”</p><p>***</p><p>TJ unrolled the bandages, carefully pulling each layer from his arm. Underneath, there was another kind of dressing. Cyrus watched as the nurse removed that layer as well and his skin came into view.</p><p>Cyrus visibly winced at the sight. His arms were swollen, his skin a burning red and covered in blister, some smaller patches looking sickeningly white. He swallowed the knot in his throat, his eyes wandering to where the burns spread over his shoulder and onto parts of his chest. There was just so much of it.</p><p>TJ started to wash the wounds, removing the thin layer of ointment and loose skin with gentle hand movements. Cyrus tried not to flinch at the contact.<br/>
“You okay?” the nurse asked, softly.<br/>
Cyrus gulped, nodding.<br/>
“Yeah, I just… I didn’t know it would look like this,” he felt like crying. Tears already compiling behind his eyes, but he refused to let them go. “I mean,” he carried on, “they told me about the burns, but it’s … different, actually seeing them.”</p><p>“Hey,” the nurse bowed his head, his eyes finding Cyrus’ and holding his gaze. “I know it looks bad,” he said, “and it is. But you’re gonna be okay. You mostly suffered second degree burns, and they cover a lot of your upper body, which makes you prone for infections. So making sure they are cleaned and carefully bandaged is really important. But this is not permanent. There might be some scarring, but it won’t stay like this forever, okay?”</p><p>Cyrus forced himself to nod. “I didn’t even know burns could happen in car accidents,” his voice was quiet.<br/>
“They actually happen quite frequently. Mostly not to your extent, though.”<br/>
“So I just got lucky?” he hadn’t meant for it to sound so bitter. His eyes fell away from TJ’s, back to his wounds. He couldn’t help it. They were like this atrocity he didn’t want to look at, but his eyes were still drawn to it. As if his brain enjoyed torturing itself.</p><p>“Tell me about your parents?”</p><p>Cyrus snorted involuntarily, followed immediately by a hiss when the nurse touched his chest. His eyes met TJ’s once again, a sincere expression on the nurse’s face. Frowning, he asked: “You wanna know about my parents?”<br/>
TJ shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah.”<br/>
“They’re both shrinks.”<br/>
“Really?”<br/>
“Jup. Then they got divorced and remarried two other shrinks.” <br/>
Raising his eyebrows, TJ snorted. “That… sounds like a bad sitcom.”<br/>
“You know,” Cyrus couldn’t help but smile a bit, “It kind of is.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was absolutely nothing interesting to look at. Were all hospital rooms this boring? All white and dull. Not even a single splash of color. <br/>Cyrus’ eyes wandered over the room. There were a few picture frames hanging on the walls, but they mostly had subdued colors. Paintings of flowers, that weren’t bright purple, but rather a weak, grey imitation of it. <br/>Even all the furniture was white. The small table in the corner of the room and the two chairs standing around it. The curtains on the window and the bed he was lying on. All white. <br/>The only thing standing out was the small TV hanging on the wall. A box of black against a sea of white.</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for Cyrus to realize that there also wasn’t much interesting to do in a hospital room. Initially, he had wanted to work on his script, but whenever he was on drugs, his brain was a jumbled mess and the words coming from it an incoherent string of thoughts. And when he wasn’t on drugs, his mind couldn’t focus on anything, the pain too overwhelming and distracting. <br/>He had considered watching TV instead, but he quickly faced a similar problem. He either couldn’t focus on it, or it made his head hurt. So no TV, either.</p>
<p>Technically, he had a roommate. But that roommate never seemed to be awake long enough for them to actually have a conversation. Cyrus didn’t even know his name. <br/>On the other hand, maybe he was just awake when Cyrus himself was asleep.</p>
<p>He could probably consider himself lucky. Sleeping as much as he did, there weren’t too many moments were he had the time to be bored. But just because they were few, didn’t mean they were nonexistent. And after staring at the same boring wall with the same boring painting for what seemed like an eternity, he was all sorts of done with it.</p>
<p>“What about a plant?”</p>
<p>TJ looked up from where he was writing onto the clipboard. “What about it?”<br/>“Could I get a plant?” <br/>“What do you want a plant for?”</p>
<p>Cyrus let his eyes wander across the room. As if this time, he would actually find that bit of color he was craving. He scrunched up his nose. “I’m pretty sure all that white is slowly making me go insane,” he said, “I don’t know how anyone can lie here and not feel like it’s suffocating them.”</p>
<p>TJ blinked. He tilted his head to the side, just looking at him for a few seconds.</p>
<p>“So you want a plant,” he finally said, slowly, “Just to look at it?” <br/>“Yes.” <br/>“Okay,” the confusion was apparent on his face, furrowed brows and an unsure smile on his lips, “I guess that’s doable. Any wishes as to what kind of plant?”</p>
<p>Cyrus’ face broke into a grin. “Can it be purple?”<br/>“Sure,” the nurse shrugged, “Why purple?” <br/>“Because that painting is mocking me and I wanna show it what a real purple looks like.”</p>
<p>So maybe he was already losing it. But that painting <em>was </em>mocking him, and he wouldn’t just lie there and take it.</p>
<p>TJ followed his line of sight to the painting on the wall, his lips pulling into an amused smirk. “Alright, Cyrus,” he said, “Purple it is.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“We were so worried!” Andi had immediately pushed one of the two chairs in the room next to Cyrus’ bed, dropping her backpack next to it. She sat down and reached for one of his hands. <br/>Buffy nodded, her expression matching the one of Andi. <br/>His two best friends had visited before, but this was the first time they were here that Cyrus wasn’t practically dead to the world.</p>
<p>“But I’m fine!” Cyrus said. The drugs were doing its thing, so right now he could actually smile without feeling a twinge down his neck. <br/>Buffy raised her eyebrows. “I wouldn’t necessarily call that fine,” she said, her eyes wandering pointedly over his bandaged and beat up body. With her hands stemmed into her hips she looked more like a concerned, if slightly disappointed, mother, than the usual cocky best friend he was used to. <br/>“Okay, but I’m not dead,” he tried, “That’s gotta count for something.”<br/>“You’re setting the bar really low.”<br/>“Well, I gotta adapt it to my standards,” Cyrus tried to joke, but his best friends remained stoic.</p>
<p>“Maybe you should’ve just gotten rid of the car,” Andi then said, her eyes not quite meeting his. <br/>“Or not drive, like… at all,” Buffy added.</p>
<p>Cyrus gasped, pulling his hand away. “Way to blame the victim,” he grumbled, but there was no real bite in his words. “And don’t blame Gertie, she didn’t hit herself!”<br/>“Cyrus, that car was literally falling apart.”</p>
<p>When Cyrus just shot them another weak glare, Buffy sighed. “We just wish we wouldn’t have to see you like this,” she said, “You don’t look too good.” <br/>“Well, that’s another blow to my self-esteem,” Cyrus said, pouting at the two of them. <br/>“You know what we mean.”</p>
<p>Cyrus sighed. “Yeah, I know.”</p>
<p>He had seen himself in the mirror. The cast and bandages were one thing, but the cuts and bruises on his face were another. One of his eyes was still swollen, the purple color of his bruises spreading over his entire cheek. He was just glad he didn’t have to look at himself that much, so he could still pretend like his face didn’t look like it had served as a punching bag.</p>
<p>“But you can all sign my cast and draw cute stuff on it?”</p>
<p>Andi’s face broke into a grin. Apparently, that was the right thing to say. <br/>“I came prepared!” she pulled an entire bag of markers out of her backpack. Of course she would carry that around with her. <br/>Andi’s enthusiasm proved to be quite infectious. Even Buffy’s frowning face slowly disappeared. She shook her head, but pushed the second chair next to the bed as well, a small smile finally finding her face. “You’re lucky we love you,” she mumbled under her breath as she reached for a blue marker and got to work.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When Buffy and Andi left an hour later, his cast was no longer a boring shade of white. Instead, colorful images spread all over it. The two girls had drawn all sorts of things on it, signing their names as big as possible next to their creations. Cyrus was proud to say that they had obviously gone for a rainbow theme, strategically placing images in each color in an order that made his cast look like one big rainbow. Andi had drawn a sleeping panda on his ankle and Buffy tried to follow her lead, drawing a bunny right next to it.</p>
<p>Cyrus heard a soft know at the door and TJ walked it, holding a tray. He hadn’t even thought about food while his best friends had been here, but now that he saw the nurse holding some, his stomach started rumbling, as if it had just remembered that it had actually been hours since he last ate.  <br/>TJ put the plate onto the tray table. The soup was hot, its steam rising and hitting Cyrus with a warm breeze. He grabbed one of the slices of bread next to it.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” he smiled at the nurse.</p>
<p>TJ smiled back. “Your friends left?”</p>
<p>Nodding, he dunked the bread into the soup, letting it soak for a second before putting it in his mouth. This actually wasn’t too bad. Nothing he would rave over, but it was acceptable soup.</p>
<p>“I like what they did with your cast,” the nurse nodded towards his leg and Cyrus broke into a grin. <br/>“Me, too.”</p>
<p>TJ studied the patterns and colors for a while, before he pulled his face back, eyes flickering up to Cyrus before wandering back to the cast. He squinted, leaning closer in order to better recognize what he was so intensely staring at. Seemingly giving up, he turned back to Cyrus and pointed at Buffy’s creation. “What is that?” <br/>“It’s supposed to be a bunny.” <br/>“A bunny?” <br/>Cyrus nodded, putting a spoon of soup into his mouth, before starting to break apart the rest of the bread and throwing them into the bowl. <br/>“I don’t exactly know what it reminds me of, but a bunny wasn’t what would’ve come to my mind.” <br/>He laughed. “Yeah, I know. She tried, though.”</p>
<p>The nurse studied the creature a bit more. Cyrus couldn’t help but chuckle at the scowl that set itself on his face.</p>
<p>“It kind of looks like a demon.” <br/>“A demon?” Cyrus asked around another mouthful of soup-soaked bread. <br/>“Some sort of abomination. Like it just crawled out of hell,” TJ nodded, before pointing to it once again, “That looks like a pair of horns.” <br/>Cyrus followed his finger, tilting his head to the side. “I’m pretty sure those are the ears.” <br/>“And why are the teeth so sharp?” he asked, “And the eyes all black?” <br/>“Maybe she did it on purpose?” <br/>The nurse didn’t look convinced.</p>
<p>“I’m sure she didn’t mean to create the spawn of the devil.” Cyrus shrugged, which earned him another skeptical glance from the nurse.</p>
<p>Cyrus kept eating his soup in silence, his gaze ever so often wandering to the nurse, who had gone back to look at the cast. He wasn’t doing it on purpose. He couldn’t really stop himself. It was just because there was nothing else to look at, he told himself. He could stare at cold, white walls when he was alone, he told himself.</p>
<p>He let his eyes fall back to the soup. There was no more bread left in it, only a few crumbs that had been left behind and were all soggy now. He looked back at TJ. “Hey, can I ask you something?” <br/>“Sure.”<br/>“Do you know anything about my car?” he asked, “I wanted to ask my friends, but they never really liked her.” <br/>TJ’s smile faded a bit, “I’m afraid your car is completely busted.” <br/>“Huh,” Cyrus turned back to his meal, stirring his spoon in half-hearted circles. It wasn’t surprising, he had already expected to hear the news. But he couldn’t help the sting in his chest. <br/>“But it… she was really old? She would’ve been scraped soon anyways?” the nurse tried, which earned him a glare. <br/>“Hey!” Cyrus narrowed his eyes at him, “She was an old lady, but a lady nonetheless.” <br/>He sighed, his expression turning wistful. “She will be dearly missed.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t realize she meant that much to you.” <br/>“She was my first car,” Cyrus said, “I guess I just never thought she would actually be gone, you know?” <br/>TJ opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but then closed it again, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. “Well, she <em>was </em>kind of at fault for most of your injuries,” he then said, carefully, before quickly adding, “Sorry, I know, I know, she’s a lady and all that.” <br/>Cyrus sighed. “Don’t worry about it.” <br/>Falling back onto his pillow and glancing at the ceiling, a small chuckle left his throat. “She <em>was </em>kind of a death trap. Her delicate age and my exceedingly bad driving skills were always a dangerous combination. I’m not sure why anyone ever let me on the street with her.” <br/>“Maybe they assumed a sane adult could make his own decisions?”</p>
<p>Cyrus gasped. “They know I get attached way too easily!” he exclaimed, “Which makes me a horrible decision maker!”</p>
<p>TJ’s shoulders moved in silent laughter. Shaking his head, he shot Cyrus a soft smile. “Eat your soup.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After spending the better half of a week in a hospital, Cyrus had the routine pretty much down. In the mornings, TJ would check his vitals and help him to the bathroom. In the evening, he would clean his wounds and change his bandages. Cyrus still slept a lot through the day, but waking up to pain was apparently also something that was now part of his daily routine. <br/>More often than not he would wake up, sunlight falling through open curtains, with his entire body feeling sore. When Cyrus was in pain, he had a tendency to be impatient, his fingers incessantly pushing the button next to his bed. He almost felt bad for ringing the nurse as much as he did. Almost.</p>
<p>At least TJ didn’t look like he minded. But then again, it was kind of his job. It would probably be really bad if he looked like he minded. <br/>So instead of pulling a grumpy face as he’d come into the room, he would give Cyrus a warm smile and ask his pain level.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Is a five high enough for the good stuff?” <br/>“You want more of the good stuff?” the nurse chuckled, eyes rising from the clipboard to look at him. <br/>“I don’t think I necessarily want more,” Cyrus said, “I need more.” <br/>“Should I be worried?” TJ asked, but the amusement wasn’t slipping from his face. <br/>“Do you like seeing me in pain?” Cyrus pouted. TJ’s eyebrows shot up and he shook his head, a soft smile settling on his face. <br/>“Fine,” he rolled his eyes, “You can have some more of the good stuff.” </em>
</p>
<p>And three times a day, TJ would bring him food.</p>
<p>Considering all the things that Cyrus was already tired of, the food was definitely the most pressing matter.</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for Cyrus to come to the unpleasant conclusion: Hospital food sucked. Big time. <br/>After days of eating soup and bread, the occasional bowl of fruit salad, and crappy sandwiches, he felt his body recoil at just the sight of it. He missed the good things. He had been trying to get the nurse to give him muffins since the second day, but TJ wouldn’t butch. </p>
<p>“Is there nothing else I can eat?”</p>
<p>Looking at the meal in front of him, he pulled his face into a grimace. If it were at least a different kind of soup, but alas, it was not.</p>
<p>“Nope,” TJ popped the ‘p’, throwing him a wide grin. <br/>“I don’t want soup. I’m bored of soup.” <br/>“Well, soup is what you’re getting,” the nurse shrugged, “You can’t just stuff your face with crap while your body is trying to heal.” <br/>“I can try.”</p>
<p>TJ chuckled, his hand reaching out to ruffle Cyrus’ hair. Cyrus tried his best not to yelp at the contact, heat rising to his cheeks. He hoped his face wasn’t as warm in color as it felt, but at least TJ didn’t make any indication of noticing an obvious change of complexion.</p>
<p>“How bad can it be to eat one muffin?” Cyrus whined, “Just one!” <br/>“I said no.” <br/>“But it’s been so long. My body is already experiencing withdrawal symptoms!” Cyrus pulled his best puppy dog eyes, but TJ didn’t seem fazed in the slightest. <br/>“It’s that serious, huh?” <br/>“I never joke about chocolate chocolate-chip muffins,” Cyrus nodded, his expression dead serious. <br/>“Are those your favorite?” <br/>“It’s double the chocolate, I never had a choice to begin with!”</p>
<p>TJ laughed. “Well, once you’re out of here you can eat all the muffins you want.” <br/>Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Cyrus grumbled under his breath, “That’s still gonna be ages…” <br/>“It’s really not.” <br/>“Feels like it.”</p>
<p>Rolling his eyes, the nurse pushed the plate closer to Cyrus. “Just eat your food,” he said, his voice firm, but with a fond smile gracing his lips.</p>
<p>Cyrus couldn’t help the small smile. It was just so easy to talk to TJ. He laughed at his stupid jokes. He smiled at him. It was hard not to look at him when he was smiling like that. TJ just had a really nice smile, okay? And Cyrus really liked it when it was directed at him. It was much better than that frown the nurse sometimes pulled when he took his vitals, or when Cyrus was whining about his pain. <br/>And maybe Cyrus was a bit smitten. But that could also be a side effect of the drugs. Four days were definitely not enough time to be smitten, right? And TJ was a nurse, which was already twice as bad. He had seen all the gross and disgusting stuff. He knew exactly what Cyrus looked like underneath all the bandages. There was no way that wasn’t all sorts of off-putting.</p>
<p>So no, Cyrus wasn’t smitten. He simply could appreciate a nice face with a nice smile. That was all.</p>
<p>Cyrus looked at his soup. It had probably already gone cold with how long he was putting off eating it. Moving his spoon through the liquid, he regarded it with a sigh. <br/>There wasn’t even any bread left. Just cold, stale soup. <br/>His eyes wandered to the glass of orange juice right behind it. Staring at it, he couldn’t help but think of all the things he could have instead.</p>
<p>He turned back to TJ.</p>
<p>“What about milkshakes?” <br/>TJ snorted. “Absolutely not.”</p>
<p>Cyrus threw his hands up. “But they’re technically not even food!” <br/>“And yet, you won’t get one.”</p>
<p>Cyrus crossed his arms in front of his chest, a sour expression on his face. “It’s been so long since I’ve had anything <em>good</em>,” he grumbled, “Hospital food sucks.” <br/>TJ shrugged apologetically, “Yeah, it does.”</p>
<p>Eyes falling back to the orange juice, Cyrus glared at it as if it had personally offended him.</p>
<p>“Why can’t I have a milkshake TJ?” <br/>“Because I said no.” <br/>“How come you give me all the drugs I want, but as soon as I want food that is actually delicious you tell me no?” he regarded the nurse with an accusing glare. <br/>“Well, if you suggest something that doesn’t have unhealthy amounts of sugar in it, I might not have to,” TJ nudged his shoulder. <br/>“But my body thrives on sugar!” <br/>“So do infections.”</p>
<p>Cyrus huffed, pouting at the nurse as he reached for the glass and chugged the juice anyways. But he made sure that TJ saw how not excited he was about it.</p>
<p>When the nurse just laughed, he could feel the pout slipping. He glanced down at the soup, though it could never hold his attention before, so it wasn’t long before his gaze found itself back on TJ.</p>
<p>TJ’s eyes met his, and Cyrus tried really hard to pretend like his heart didn’t just skip a beat.</p>
<p>Jup, not smitten at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Did you bring it?”</p>
<p>Buffy hadn’t even gotten far into the room before Cyrus had thrown the question her way. She frowned at him.</p>
<p>“Bring what?”</p>
<p>“Buffy!” he whined, “You know what I mean!” <br/>His best friend sighed, rolling her eyes. “No, I didn’t bring it, Cyrus.” <br/>“Why not?”  <br/>“I was under the impression that you shouldn’t have it,” she said, raising her eyebrows at him, “Your nurse was very clear about that.”<br/>“You spoke to TJ?” Cyrus’ eyes widened, “Why would you do that?” <br/>“Because he’s your nurse?” She finally sat down next to his bed, giving him a pointed look, “He knows what you should and shouldn’t have.”<br/>“I thought I was clear when I said nobody should know about this!”</p>
<p>Cyrus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His well thought out plan went down the drain, just like that. Just because Buffy was actually concerned with what was “good” for him, or whatever.</p>
<p>“Well, sorry I thought I’d consult a professional beforehand.” <br/>“But why <em>TJ</em>?” <br/>“Would the others have said something different?” <br/>“Well, now we’ll never know, will we?” Cyrus huffed, “You could’ve just ignored that stupid moral code of yours. Live life a bit more on the edge and all that!” <br/>“Because you live on the edge, huh?” <br/>“I could be!”</p>
<p>Buffy just laughed.</p>
<p>“I was hit by a car!” Cyrus said, looking at her as if he had just made a devastating argument. <br/>She let out a snort, “On purpose?” <br/>Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Cyrus huffed again. He shot Buffy a weak glare.</p>
<p>“It’s just a muffin,” she finally said. <br/>Cyrus gasped. “It’s not just a muffin, Buffy!” he exclaimed, “It’s a chocolate chocolate-chip muffin!”</p>
<p>He seriously considered giving his best friend the silent treatment. After all, as far as he was concerned, this was betrayal of the first degree. But he had never done all that well with holding a grudge, and even less well with not talking, so the moment Buffy opened her mouth once more, any thoughts of punishment had already fled his mind. Maybe he’d do it later.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Buffy had already left a few hours ago when TJ came into his room. He hadn’t been here since morning, and Cyrus hated how just the sight of him made him feel lighter. As if all that weight pressing down on him was suddenly not that heavy after all.</p>
<p>It was because he was bored. That’s what he told himself. It was a legitimate reason, too. He still hardly knew what to do with himself when he was awake. His eyes would find the purple flower on the window sill every few seconds. TJ watered it daily. Cyrus didn’t actually know what kind of flower it was. TJ had told him when he first brought it, but Cyrus couldn’t remember. At first he had been too distracted by the fact that the nurse had actually gotten him the flower, and later on he didn’t want to admit that he hadn’t paid attention in the first place. So it was just a purple flower to him.<br/>But he could only look at the flower for so long until that got boring, too. So it would make sense that all he was craving was some human interaction. He could barely function without it, but Buffy and Andi couldn’t constantly sit beside him and hold his hand. So yeah, that was definitely it. Boredom and lack of human interaction.</p>
<p>As usual, the nurse had a soft smile on his face. But for the first time since the two met, Cyrus wasn’t looking at his face. Instead, his eyes were drawn to TJ’s arms.</p>
<p>Dozens of small drawings covered them, some of them not even really qualifying as drawings at all, but were just lines drawn over his skin without any plan or order, in all the colors of the rainbow.</p>
<p>“Your arms,” Cyrus blurted out once TJ was closer to his bed. The nurse raised his brows, eyes following the line of Cyrus’ stare. He glanced down and the doodles and lines, and shrugged, “Some kids wanted to draw on me.” <br/>“Kids?” Cyrus wanted to smack himself for his continuing outburst of eloquence. His brain seemed suddenly incapable of forming actual coherent sentences. <br/>“Yeah,” TJ said, “I sometimes visit the pediatric ward on my break or after shifts. The kids like it.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I would’ve washed it off, but I was a bit late. I hope that doesn’t seem unprofessional to you.”</p>
<p>“No!” the words forced itself out, his eyes falling to the ground, “I mean… it’s kinda cute.”</p>
<p>TJ’s face broke into a grin. “Cute?”</p>
<p>“Yeah… the kids,” Cyrus tried to save the last shred of dignity he still had left, “You know… the drawings are… cute.”</p>
<p>The nurse laughed, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”</p>
<p>Cyrus considered whining. He really didn’t want to move right now. That would mean being in close proximity to the nurse. And his stupid face. And the cute drawings on his stupidly nice arms. <br/>One should think that having to go through this every day would help him get used to it, but it really didn’t. It was almost as if it got worse each time.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, he let himself be hauled up, throwing an arm over TJ’s shoulders, while one of the nurse’s arms came around his waist and held him in a tight grip.</p>
<p>“Were your friends here today?” TJ asked once they were inside the bathroom and Cyrus had sat down. It had become a routine over the last days. Every time TJ would clean and bandage his wounds, or Cyrus would wait for the drugs to do their thing, the nurse would ask him about his day, or about his life, as a distraction of the uncomfortable sight and the burning sensation when somebody touched his wounds.</p>
<p>Cyrus nodded, watching the nurse remove the bandages around his arms and chest. It wasn’t as bad as the first time he saw his skin. It still looked horrifying, but after seeing it so many times, he at least wasn’t alarmed at the sight anymore. <br/>His face still looked horrible, too. The dark purple bruises had started to fade into a more bluish green color, and the cuts weren’t a bright red anymore, but just scabs he sometimes forgot to not pick at. Generally he just tended to avoid looking at his face. He didn’t really need a daily update on its state.</p>
<p>“They care about you a lot, huh?”  </p>
<p>TJ started his usual process of cleaning the burns, running a soft wash cloth over his arms in gentle movements. Cyrus gritted his teeth, but willed his body not to flinch away from the touch.</p>
<p>“Yeah, they’re practically family. I honestly can’t remember a time where we weren’t together, you know.” <br/>“How did you meet?”<br/>“In second grade. We instantly got along, even though there weren’t that many interests that we shared. But we all had great hair, even then,” Cyrus said, “That’s why they call us the good hair crew.”</p>
<p>“The good hair crew?” <br/>“It’s even on a T-shirt.” <br/>“It’s always been just you guys?” <br/>“We considered taking new members once, but it just didn’t feel right,” Cyrus nodded. He watched the soft smile spread on TJ’s lips, though his eyes stayed fixated on where he was putting ointment on his arms, before starting to wrap the bandages over his burns.</p>
<p>Under the warm light of the bathroom, TJ’s eyes shone in a pale green. It was fascinating how his eyes seemed to change color constantly. Sometimes they were a muted green, sometimes there was a hint of blue, and sometimes they appeared to be washed out, almost more grey than either of the other two colors. Cyrus’ favorite, however, was when they were a bright green, like willow leaves on a cool spring day.</p>
<p>“Didn’t have good enough hair?”  TJ said, pulling his attention back to the real world, green eyes suddenly meeting his. Cyrus forced himself to not look away, but to stand his ground. Ignoring the warmth rising to his face, he chuckled, “No one ever has.”  </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Buffy and Andi visited him almost daily. Especially Buffy, since Andi was in the middle of a major project at school and couldn’t get away as frequently. She tried to be there as often as she could, though.</p>
<p>Right now, Buffy was sitting on the chair next to his bed. She visited early today. Way too early, if you asked Cyrus. He had barely been awake when she had come in, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawns escaping his throat. Buffy was in the middle of what he was sure was an exciting tale if he were awake enough to focus on it, when TJ came in.</p>
<p>“I don’t want my vitals checked right now,” Cyrus whined, when he saw the familiar clipboard in the nurse’s hands. <br/>“Too bad you don’t have much of a choice now, do you?” TJ’s eyes twinkled in amusement, before adding, “I’ll be quick.”</p>
<p>Buffy moved her chair to the side so the nurse could step closer and start his usual process. Taking his heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration rate, before having a look at his temperature.</p>
<p>“So, how are we looking?” Cyrus said, jokingly, once the nurse had pulled the thermometer back and written down the numbers onto his board, “Am I gonna die this time?” <br/>“I’m afraid not,” TJ joked back. <br/>“Bummer.”<br/>The nurse laughed. “How’s the pain?”</p>
<p>“Around a four.” <br/>Cyrus hesitated, before adding, “Is four high enough for the good stuff?” <br/>TJ snorted. “You gonna keep asking that every time?” <br/>“Depends.”<br/>“On what?”<br/>“<em>Is </em>it high enough for the good stuff?”</p>
<p>The nurse rolled his eyes, but he did pull out the syringe, injecting some of the stuff into his infusion bag. <br/>“Alright, I’ll get you something to eat. And no, before you ask, no muffins.” <br/>Cyrus scrunched up his nose. <br/>With one last smile, the nurse turned around. He gave a polite nod in Buffy’s direction, and left the room.</p>
<p>Cyrus stared after him, sighing wistfully.</p>
<p>Buffy almost snorted at the sight in front of her, but then Cyrus turned to her, his expression almost frantic. He pulled his face into a grimace. “I think my nurse is trying to kill me.” <br/>His best friend narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you sure those aren’t just the drugs talking?” Her expression was schooled, as if she was trying hard not to laugh.</p>
<p>Cyrus shook his head rapidly. “He keeps giving me drugs.” <br/>“You keep asking for them.”<br/>“Yes, but he’s the professional!” <br/>Buffy snorted, “Exactly?” <br/>Cyrus pulled his lips into a pout. “Maybe he’s giving me too much.” <br/>“What makes you think that?” <br/>Leaning forward, he whispered, “He never says no.”</p>
<p>A laugh escaped Buffy’s throat, and she shook her head. “I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s doing, Cy.”<br/>“I’m not saying he doesn’t!” he said, eyes wide, “Maybe he’s doing it on purpose.”</p>
<p>Buffy sighed, reaching for his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s because you think he’s cute, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“So cute,” Cyrus whined.</p>
<p>Cyrus suppressed the frustrated groan daring to come out of his throat. This was still fine. Lots of people were cute; it didn’t have to mean anything. This whole thing would probably fade as quickly as it had started.</p>
<p>Yeah, this was fine.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The sun was shining obnoxiously into the room. Cyrus wanted to close the curtains so he wouldn’t have to endure its obvious buoyant spirit. It mocked him. He was sure of it. There was no other explanation. It should rain. That would fit his mood. Not this. <br/>He couldn’t even see the sky from where he was lying on the bed, but it was probably just as obnoxiously blue as the trees were obnoxiously green, even brighter than usual, illuminated by the sunlight.</p>
<p>Cyrus was having a bad day. It was bound to happen at one point or another. And bad-day-Cyrus usually also had bad ideas. They were kind of a package deal.</p>
<p>Maybe it was the fact that he had been bed bound for days now. Or maybe it was the fact that Buffy kept looking at him like he couldn’t do anything by himself. But most likely it was the fact that she was right.</p>
<p>So when he pushed himself up, broken leg and hurting torso be damned, his best friend immediately rushed to his side. “What are you doing?” <br/>“I need to use the bathroom.”<br/>“Okay, wait. Let me get the nurse.” <br/>“I can go to the bathroom on my own,” Cyrus insisted, already sitting on the edge of the bed and testing out how his good leg liked all the weight. <br/>“I don’t think TJ would agree,” Buffy said, putting a hand on his shoulder to hold him back. <br/>“Well, TJ’s not here now, is he?” <br/>“I get it. This is frustrating, and it sucks. But you know you shouldn’t do this. Just wait, I’ll get him, okay?” Buffy shot him a warning glare before running out of the room.</p>
<p>Cyrus sighed, his eyes finding the bathroom door. It was only a few steps away. How hard could it be?</p>
<p>Really hard, as it turned out. He didn’t get far, at all. Two steps out of the bed and he stumbled, proceeding to fall.</p>
<p>Except for that he didn’t hit the ground. Instead two strong arms had caught him. Cyrus looked up slowly and was met with green eyes glaring icily at him.</p>
<p>“Uhm.”<br/>“Cyrus, what the hell?”</p>
<p>He had never heard TJ curse before, but he wasn’t able to do anything but stare. It was really hard to find words when you knew that you were obviously in the wrong, but your pride prevented you from actually admitting that. Also, the nurse was still holding him and if that didn’t make his mind go all fuzzy, he didn’t know what did.</p>
<p>TJ shook his head, lips pressed into a tight line as he helped Cyrus back onto the bed. <br/>“I told you not to stand up by yourself!” he gritted out, “That includes going to the bathroom.” <br/>He had his hands stemmed into his hips, a stern look on his face. Cyrus noticed Buffy out of the corner of his eye, imitating the same position. It was as if a set of disappointed parents were in the middle of lecturing their five-year old.</p>
<p>“I’m not a toddler,” Cyrus finally managed to say, “Or a super old person.”</p>
<p>“No,” TJ snorted, “You’re a dumbass.”</p>
<p>Cyrus gaped at him, dumbfounded. He couldn’t really argue with that.</p>
<p>The nurse sighed, running a hand through his hair before coming to rest on his neck. <br/>“Okay,” he said, “Then let’s get you to the bathroom.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The air was weird. There was a tension there that Cyrus couldn’t quite grasp, but feel tightening around them.</p>
<p>If it weren’t for the growing pit in his stomach, he wouldn’t have said anything at all. But if there was one thing that was worse than hospital food, it was no food at all.</p>
<p>“I’m really hungry.”</p>
<p>“No,” his nurse shot him a stern glance, “You’re scheduled for surgery first thing in the morning. That means no food for you.”</p>
<p>“That’s a stupid rule.”</p>
<p>“You should get some sleep,” TJ said, fiddling with his infusion bag.</p>
<p>Cyrus watched, as the nurse furrowed his brows, seemingly trying to concentrate on anything but him. It had only been a few hours, but he missed his smile.</p>
<p>“Are you still mad at me?” Cyrus asked in a small voice, making TJ look at him. <br/>“I’m not mad at you,” the nurse said. <br/>“You look like you are.”</p>
<p>TJ sighed, finally coming closer to Cyrus and sitting down next to him. “I’m not mad, okay? Believe it or not, but a lot of people try to do things like that even after I explicitly told them not to.” <br/>“I’m still sorry, though.” <br/>The nurse shot him a look. “You should be. You could’ve messed up quite a bit with that little stunt of yours,” he said, “So no more rebel deeds for you.” <br/>“You think I’m a rebel?” Cyrus couldn’t help the grin spreading on his lips. <br/>TJ snorted, “Not a very good one.” <br/>Cyrus shrugged, “I’m still counting it.”</p>
<p>The nurse finally let out a laugh. Cyrus’ heart maybe gave out for a second. Whatever.</p>
<p>“Why’d you do it anyways? You weren’t too excited about moving since you got here.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Cyrus said, his eyes finding his hands, fiddling with his fingers, “I guess I was just having a bad day. And I wanted to do <em>something</em>. I can’t get myself to write, cause my brain won’t comply and I can’t read a lot, cause it makes my head hurt. And I guess the sun made me really mad, because I can’t even look at the stupid sky. Did you know there’s a meteor shower in a few days? I was really looking forward to it, but I guess now I can just stare at the ceiling instead, pretending it’s something worthwhile watching.” He sighed, “I’m just sick of being helpless.”</p>
<p>“You’re not helpless.”<br/>“What would you call it, then?”</p>
<p>TJ raised his eyebrows as if he couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Heavily injured?” he snorted, “Maybe?”</p>
<p>A pink tinge painted his cheeks and Cyrus opened his mouth, as if to argue, but closed it again.</p>
<p>“Right,” he finally said, “Usually I don’t have that excuse.”</p>
<p>“So, usually you’re helpless?”<br/>“Very.”</p>
<p>TJ stayed silent for a few seconds, just looking at Cyrus as if he was trying to figure out what was going on in his head, before saying: “Why would you think that?”</p>
<p>“I can’t do most of the things normal people can do.”<br/>“Like what?”</p>
<p>“I never learnt how to do a cartwheel? Or a handstand. I can barely do a somersault,” he said, “I almost failed P.E. in high school. Nobody fails P.E.! But I almost did. Took a dance class instead, but guess what? I also can’t dance.”</p>
<p>A short laugh escaped TJ’s throat. “Okay, but is that actually important?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I mean, I don’t know about you, but I can’t really think of any situation where being able to do a cartwheel would solve all your problems.”</p>
<p>“Huh,” Cyrus let his head fall back onto the pillow, staring at the ceiling,” I never thought of it like that.” <br/>He pushed himself upright again, looking into TJ’s face. “I’m also really bad at driving.” <br/>The nurse burst into laughter. “Yeah, I know,” he grinned, “You also have horrible eating habits.”</p>
<p>“Are they really horrible if they make me happy, though?” Cyrus tried to argue. <br/>“Not how it works.”</p>
<p>Cyrus could feel a yawn trying to make its way out, forcing it back down. He lied back down. “I bet you’re one of those people who put kale in their smoothies,” he murmured, pulling his face into a grimace.</p>
<p>“You should get some sleep.”</p>
<p>When the nurse said it this time, there was a fond look in his eyes and a soft smile on his lips.</p>
<p>“I’m not tired,” Cyrus mumbled. His eyes were maybe a bit tired, but he surely wasn’t. He suppressed another yawn.</p>
<p>“Sure,” TJ smiled, pushing himself up. <br/>“I mean it,” the words came out slurred, his sight already becoming a bit blurry. It was almost fascinating how quickly tiredness overcame him. He never even saw it coming. <br/>“I know.”<br/>“… good.”</p>
<p>He heard TJ chuckle. “Sleep tight.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cyrus let out an annoyed groan. It was way too early. Why did TJ always have to come in so early?</p>
<p>Technically he knew that it couldn’t really be <em>that </em>early. It was probably well into the late morning, but it didn’t feel like it. He felt like he had barely slept at all, even though he had been basically knocked out cold since the surgery.</p>
<p>He pressed his eyes shut, burying his face into the pillow. <br/>“Go away,” he mumbled, “Need more sleep.”</p>
<p>The nurse didn’t react right away, but Cyrus could imagine the soft grin on TJ’s face. He always had that when Cyrus was being dramatic and said ridiculous things.</p>
<p>“You can keep sleeping in a second, but I still gotta check on you first.”</p>
<p>Cyrus’ eyes flew open, jerking his head around and instantly regretting it, when a searing pain jolted through his body. He looked at the nurse, mouth agape.</p>
<p>“You’re not TJ,” he finally said.</p>
<p>The woman raised her perfectly formed eyebrows at him. “I’m not TJ,” she confirmed. Her long blonde hair was tied back into a pony tail, a soft peachy blush painted her cheeks, and her lips were pulled into a small smile. <br/>Cyrus was sure she wasn’t trying to be, but she was intimidating. Different than TJ. TJ was only intimidating when he wasn’t smiling. But she had this energy about herself, the way she held her head high and appeared maybe just a tad too perfect to be real.</p>
<p>Maybe it was just the eyebrows, though.</p>
<p>They were intense eyebrows.</p>
<p>“I’m Amber,” she said, “I’ll be looking after you today.”</p>
<p>“Where’s TJ?” the words blurted out before he could stop himself, but the nurse didn’t let it faze her. <br/>“At home,” she said, “Asleep, probably.”</p>
<p>At home. Asleep.</p>
<p>That made sense.</p>
<p>Cyrus wanted to smack himself. It was stupid to believe that TJ would be around non-stop just because he had always been there when Cyrus needed something. He hadn’t even considered that the nurse also had a home to go to. The emotional part of his brain just hadn’t caught up yet.</p>
<p>It didn’t matter, he told himself. He’d just really gotten used to his face.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he said, smiling sheepishly.</p>
<p>“It’s alright,” she smiled at him, “Let’s check your vitals then, okay?”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Cyrus slept through most of the day, only waking up for a few minutes every now and then before dropping dead again. He only barely noticed that Andi and Buffy had visited, but he was too out of it to really acknowledge their presence. <br/>Apparently, surgery had that kind of effect on people. His body being weakened and needing lots of rest, or something.</p>
<p>Amber had come by two more times, once to force him to eat something, and another time to renew his bandages.</p>
<p>It was weird, having someone else clean his wounds. Even though she moved the wash cloth with care, it felt different than he was used to. Maybe it was the soft looks he was missing. Or the questions that distracted him from what the nurse was doing.</p>
<p>On the other hand, Cyrus <em>did</em> almost fall asleep while Amber reapplied his bandages, so maybe it was really him that felt different.</p>
<p>When he woke up in the middle of the night and actually felt awake, he didn’t quite know what to do. He wasn’t entirely sure how late it was, but it was dark in the room, only the faint light of the moon and the stars shining through the window.</p>
<p>He sighed, eyes falling to the ceiling.</p>
<p>He wanted to push the call button.</p>
<p>But what would he do then? He wasn’t actually in pain right now. Amber had given him a dose of pain medication after putting his bandages back on. And he couldn’t annoy the nurse on call just because he was bored. There might be someone who legitimately needed help.</p>
<p>The ceiling was boring. He would much rather look at the night sky, but moving was still a bad idea. And after the bathroom incident he really didn’t want to push his luck. He wasn’t actively trying to get TJ to hate him.</p>
<p>Time passed. It felt as if an entire hour had gone by, but a sinking feeling told Cyrus that it probably had only been a few minutes. He sighed, once again.</p>
<p>Maybe he was hungry. He actually hadn’t eaten all that much today, now that he thought about it. He should probably eat. <br/>He glanced at the call button. Hunger seemed like a good reason, right?</p>
<p>Maybe TV wasn’t even on call. Just because he hadn’t been here all day didn’t mean he would be here now. He must have some free days as well, right? Maybe today was a free day.</p>
<p>
  <em>Or maybe it wasn’t. </em>
</p>
<p>He pushed the button. It wasn’t really a conscious decision. He had still been contemplating when his hand just moved on its own. Cyrus looked at the door, watching it closely for any movement.</p>
<p>Should he push the button again?</p>
<p>No, that would be rude. It was night, after all. And maybe the nurse was busy. With actual important stuff. He let himself fall back onto the bed, a heavy breath leaving his throat, and his gaze turning back to the ceiling.</p>
<p>When he heard the door creak, he instantly pushed himself back up again, ignoring the ache in his bones.</p>
<p>TJ looked different.</p>
<p>His hair fell messily over his forehead, lacking any product and hair gel to keep it in shape, and his green eyes looked at him from behind big rectangle glasses.</p>
<p>“Hey, Cyrus,” the nurse threw him a grin, “Is everything alright?”</p>
<p>Cyrus found himself staring. His brain had yet to register that TJ had actually talked to him, still too occupied with his appearance. He looked so <em>soft. </em><br/>TJ moved a hand to run it through his hair, pushing it out of his face only for it to fall right back, as he came closer until he was standing right next to Cyrus.</p>
<p>“Uhm,” Cyrus finally remembered he should answer.</p>
<p>TJ snorted, “What was that?”</p>
<p>Cyrus could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. He hoped the dark room would hide the change of color in his face well enough that TJ wouldn’t notice, at least.   <br/>“Uh, I mean,” he tried again, “I’m hungry.” <br/>“Okay, I can get you something to eat. Any requests?”<br/>“I can request something?” <br/>“Not really.” <br/>Cyrus pouted at the nurse. “Rude.”</p>
<p>TJ laughed. “You can tell me what kind of fruit you would like?” <br/>Cyrus glared at him. “I don’t want fruit.”<br/>“You’re not getting a muffin.” <br/>“What makes you think I want a muffin?” <br/>The nurse raised his eyebrows at him, shooting him a skeptical look. <br/>“I’ll have you know, my existence is not entirely dependent on muffins,” Cyrus huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “I do have a little variety in my diet.”<br/>“Yeah?”<br/>“Yeah.”<br/>“What else, for example?” <br/>Cyrus opened his mouth, closed it again, and thought about it for a moment, before glaring accusingly at the nurse,” Now you put me on the spot!” <br/>TJ let out a chuckle. “I’ll be right back.”</p>
<p>When the nurse came back he carried a small tray in his hands. Cyrus could see two slices of bread, a bit of ham and cheese next to it, as well as a bowl of cut fruit. TJ put the food onto the tray table, pushing it closer to Cyrus. <br/>He pulled up a chair, and sat down next to the bed, while Cyrus started to shove some of the fruit into his mouth. Now that the food was actually in front of him, he realized how hungry he actually was. And maybe fruit wasn’t so bad, after all.</p>
<p>“How was your day?” <br/>“I don’t know,” Cyrus mumbled around the food, “Slept pretty much through it.”</p>
<p>Out of the corner of his eyes he saw TJ’s glasses slip down a bit. The nurse pushed them back over the bridge of his nose.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” <br/>TJ’s brows shot up in surprise, before a look of realization crossed his face. As if he had forgotten he even wore glasses in the first place. <br/>“Oh, yeah,” TJ ducked his head a bit, “I usually wear contacts, but during night shifts I prefer the glasses.” <br/>“Any reason why?” <br/>“Honestly, I’m really tired after night shifts and kind of fall right into bed, so the process of getting contacts out before falling asleep is kind of excruciating.” <br/>“Is that why there’s no gel in your hair, either?” Cyrus grinned, “I didn’t know you could handle an entire shift without it.”</p>
<p>He kind of wanted to reach out and touch it. Would it feel as soft as it looked?</p>
<p>TJ gave his shoulders a gentle shove, a laugh escaping his lips. <br/>“Yeah, it’s kind of a mess,” he shrugged, his hands coming up to pull at the strands, as if he tried to make them stay in a particular shape. <br/>“Nah,” Cyrus smiled, pulling his shoulders up in a weak attempt to hide his forming blush, “I like it.”</p>
<p>TJ cracked a smile.</p>
<p>Hesitating, Cyrus’ eyes fell to his hands. “You know, you don’t have to stay with me, you can go back,” he said, “I’m sure you have better things to do than watching me eat.”<br/>“Nah,” TJ grinned, “I like spending time with you.”</p>
<p>Cyrus looked up. He could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage. Pumping blood through his veins almost loud enough he was afraid the nurse might hear it. It was a good thing they didn’t monitor his heartbeat, all things considered.</p>
<p>“You do?”</p>
<p>“Sure,” TJ said, “What are you doing up anyways?” <br/>“Can’t sleep.”<br/>“That sounds unbelievable.”<br/>“I slept almost the entire day!” Cyrus said, “My body doesn’t want more sleep. Sleep is boring.” <br/>“You’re saying that now. Give it a bit. Half and hour and you will be dead to the world,” TJ said, a teasing glint in his eyes. <br/>“I’m not sure if you’re right.”</p>
<p>TJ shrugged. “Wanna tell me something?”<br/>“Like what?”<br/>“Anything.”</p>
<p>Cyrus thought about it for a moment. “Why don’t <em>you</em> tell me something?”<br/>“Me?” <br/>He nodded. “I always tell you stuff, but I don’t really know anything about you. Like, do you have siblings? How many? Do you play any instruments? Or have any pets?” <br/>“Alright,” TJ smiled, “I have an older sister. I play the piano, but I can manage a few chords on a guitar as well. And I have a pet cat named Noodles.” <br/>Cyrus snorted. “Noodles?” <br/>“I swear, her fur looks exactly like the Ramen I used to eat when I was a broke student!” <br/>He couldn’t help but laugh, lips pulling into a wide grin. “How did you get her?” <br/>“Honestly,” TJ huffed, “I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around. I don’t really feel like her owner, more like her slave of sorts.” <br/>Cyrus chuckled. “I used to be really scared of cats,” he said, “Well, still kind of am. Wary at least.”<br/>When he was met with a look of confusion he added: “Cat’s don’t like me very much. When I was eight I really wanted to pet one, but it kept scratching me. I think they can sense my fear now.” <br/>“Well, Noodles is really chill. She mostly just wants food and cuddles. She’d probably like you.”</p>
<p>It was a stupid thing to get excited about. The implication that TJ would consider him meeting his cat. As if there was a something after his stay at the hospital was over. So what if Cyrus’ heart skipped a beat when he said it? He shouldn’t even think about it. Stupid head. Stupid heart.</p>
<p>Cyrus stared at the half-empty plate in front of him. “Did you always want to be a nurse?” <br/>“Not really,” TJ said, clasping his hands together, “I actually wanted to play basketball.” <br/>“You were that good?” <br/>“Not good enough,” he shrugged, “I was pretty set on getting scouted, but I didn’t. Back then that was the worst thing that could happen to me. But then I found this. And I like what I’m doing. Someday I wanna transfer to the pediatric ward, but they didn’t have any openings when I first got registered.”</p>
<p>Cyrus hated how his eyes already felt heavy again. He didn’t want to sleep now. He wanted to know more.</p>
<p>“You like working with kids?” <br/>“Kids are way more fun to work with than adults,” he winked at him, earning him a badly aimed shove from Cyrus. <br/>Cyrus let out a yawn. “I’m a delight to work with,” he murmured. He felt his head fall for a second, but caught himself, his head jerking up again.</p>
<p>“You’re already falling asleep again, aren’t you?” he could practically hear the amused smile in TJ’s voice. <br/>“No,” he said, “I still have so many questions.”<br/>TJ laughed. Standing up, he took the plate and pushed the tray table away. <br/>“You can ask them tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“I’ll hold you to that.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We’re doing something different today.”</p><p>Cyrus didn’t like the sound of that. At all. TJ came in, pushing a wheelchair in front of him. He wasn’t wearing his scrubs, but instead was in blue jeans and a green hoodie. He looked comfy. And soft. Cyrus kind of hated it. A lot. So much he wanted to pull the nurse in and bury his face into his chest.</p><p>Tearing his eyes away from him, they finally settled onto the wheelchair. He furrowed his brows, eyeing it warily. “I’m not sure I like where this is going.”<br/>
TJ grinned, “Well, my shift ended ten minutes ago and I wanted to stop by the pediatric ward before I leave. I thought you might wanna come with me.”<br/>
He bit his lower lip, raising his eyebrows.</p><p>Cyrus hesitated. “Would that be okay?”<br/>
Frowning, the nurse cocked his head to the side. “Sure it would, why wouldn’t it?”<br/>
“It’s just,” Cyrus sighed, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t want them to be scared of me.”<br/>
“I don’t think you even have the capability of being scary,” TJ chuckled. When Cyrus didn’t look convinced, his eyes softened. He walked around the wheelchair until he was standing right beside him. Squatting down a bit, he looked directly into his eyes. “They’re not gonna be scared of you.”<br/>
“You sure? Cause my face is all messed up and I have all these bandages and I can’t even walk by myself,” Cyrus couldn’t stop the rambling, eyes falling to the ground, “I just don’t want it to be weird for them.” <br/>
“Your face is not messed up.”<br/>
“It’s basically blue, TJ.”</p><p>He heard the nurse sigh. “Look, we’re in a hospital. Nobody’s gonna care about what you look like. These kids aren’t here for fun, they got stuff, too. They won’t care about yours.”</p><p>Cyrus looked back up and TJ smiled. One of those soft, gentle smiles that made Cyrus all giddy and his heartbeat all crazy and once again he was glad that he wasn’t actually hanging on a heart monitor. He swallowed the knot in his throat and nodded. A tiny smile slowly forming on his lips.<br/>
“Okay.”<br/>
“Yeah?”<br/>
Cyrus nodded once more. TJ’s face broke into a grin.<br/>
“Okay, let’s go then!”</p><p>***</p><p>The kids loved TJ.</p><p>Cyrus should’ve expected it, really. The nurse did let them draw on him, and played with them, and sang songs off-key while playing a few chords on a guitar.<br/>
The kids practically flocked around him, pulling at the sleeves of his hoodie to get his attention.</p><p>Cyrus was content watching it from the sidelines. He couldn’t wipe the grin from his face as he watched TJ animatedly talk with the children.</p><p>The pediatric ward looked a lot different from his own room. A lot more colorful, to begin with. Not just the boring white that seemed to drown every other room in the hospital. Butterflies in different colors were drawn onto pale blue walls. The chairs, which were pushed to the side of the room, stood in sets of green and purple, and there were toys scattered all over the carpeted floor. The children had left them almost instantly when TJ had entered the room. An unfinished jigsaw puzzle was left unattended, stuffed animals sat together, having a tea party, and toy cars had been abandoned mid-race.<br/>
Cyrus couldn’t really blame them. He too found TJ a lot more interesting than toy cars and jigsaw puzzles.</p><p>“Do you know Mr. TJ?” he looked to the side to see a small girl standing next to him. She held a book tightly in her arms, looking at him with wide brown eyes, wild curls falling messily into her face.<br/>
Cyrus nodded and the girl promptly decided to sit down next to him. She looked up at him. “How do you know Mr. TJ?”<br/>
“He takes care of me,” Cyrus said and she nodded, her eyes wandering over his appearance.<br/>
“Because you’re hurt?”<br/>
“Yes.”<br/>
She looked thoughtful for a moment, “Is he good at taking care of you?”<br/>
“I think so,” Cyrus smiled, before adding, “Even though he won’t let me have any muffins.”<br/>
“Why not?”<br/>
“He says they’re not good for me,” he pouted, making sure he looked extra sad.<br/>
The girl’s eyes widened, her mouth hanging open. “But,” she said, “Muffins are so good!”<br/>
“I know!”</p><p>“What’s your name?” she then asked.<br/>
“Cyrus.”<br/>
She nodded. “I’m Emma,” she said, before holding the book she had been holding onto all this time, out to him. “Can you read it to me?”<br/>
He reached for the book.<br/>
“Okay,” he said, giving her a small smile.</p><p>“Can you do the voices, too?”<br/>
“I can try?”<br/>
“Like Mr. TJ?”</p><p>Cyrus ducked his head a bit, fidgeting with the book in his hands. “I don’t know how Mr. TJ does the voices,” he said, leaning a bit closer and whispering to her as if it was a secret, “He’s never read to me before.”</p><p>The girl gasped, pulling the book back out of his hands. She grabbed one of his hands instead, attempting to pull him with her as she was strutting in the direction of where TJ was sitting on the floor surrounded by some other kids. She didn’t really manage it, considering the wheelchair Cyrus was still sitting in, but that didn’t mean she tried any less.</p><p>“Maybe Mr. TJ can show you,” she said, nodding her tiny head rapidly.<br/>
Cyrus smiled. “That’s a great idea,“ he said, “Let me help you, though.”<br/>
He carefully pulled his hand back and put them on the wheels of his chair. He hadn’t moved it by himself before, but it couldn’t be that hard, right?</p><p>Emma watched him expectantly, as he tried to push himself forward. He managed to move the wheelchair, but it was going rather slow. Were all wheelchairs that heavy? Or was he himself that heavy? He always assumed that he was more the weight of a stick, but maybe his appearance was deceiving.</p><p>“Mr. TJ!” the girl said once they were close enough, “You have to show Mr. Cyrus how to do the voices.”<br/>
The nurse chuckled, his eyes wandering from the girl to Cyrus. “I guess I can do that,” he said, “Okay then, makes some space for Cyrus, otherwise he might not hear how to do them clearly enough.”</p><p>And that’s how Cyrus found himself in the midst of a dozen children, all staring wide eyed as TJ read them a book they probably had already heard multiple times before. His heart melted a bit as he watched the nurse read passionately, doing a different voice for each character.<br/>
Considering the fact that Cyrus was supposed to learn how to do the voices himself, he had to admit that he was having a hard time paying attention to the words coming out of TJ’s mouth. Too distracted by how his face pulled into different expression for each new voice, and how his smile was so bright it lit up the room more than the lamps on the ceiling. In all honesty, Cyrus couldn’t even tell you what the book was about.</p><p>He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach.</p><p>Theoretically, he knew this was bad. Soon he might not be able to deny his growing feelings anymore. And he liked the denial. It was safe. He didn’t have to think about things, he could just push them away. At this point, denial was basically his best friend. And Cyrus really wanted to keep it that way.</p><p>***</p><p>“You know what’s <em>really </em>unfair, though?”<br/>
“What?” Tj had an amused smile on his face as he helped Cyrus back on the bed.<br/>
“The colors!”<br/>
“Your flower isn’t enough?”<br/>
Cyrus pouted. “That’s just one color, though. They have so many different ones. It’s much less suffocating than this room full of <em>white.”<br/>
</em>The nurse clapped the wheelchair together, putting it to the side. “I guess you’re right about that.”</p><p>“Why can’t <em>I </em>stay in the pediatric ward?”<br/>
TJ looked at him, a strange expression on his face.<br/>
“Cyrus, you’re twenty-three.”<br/>
“Your point being?”<br/>
He blinked at him. “You’re twenty-three.”<br/>
“I can pass for fifteen!”</p><p>TJ snorted. “Want me to help you forge your birth certificate?”<br/>
Cyrus’ eyes widened. “You could do that?”<br/>
“I could google it,” the nurse laughed, “Can’t be that hard, right?”</p><p>They fell silent, just looking at each other. Cyrus wanted to look away, but not really. TJ’s gaze stayed on him, that fond look on his face. Was this weird? Maybe this was weird.</p><p>“Thanks for bringing me today,” Cyrus said and TJ smiled.<br/>
“Anytime.”</p><p>***</p><p>TJ had a free day, and Cyrus missed his stupid face.</p><p>It was sad, all things considered. He shouldn’t miss him. Not just after one day. Maybe not at all. But here he was, his best friends sitting next to him, talking, and him not even listening to what they were saying, too occupied with the fact that a certain green-eyed nurse wasn’t there today.</p><p>“Are you even listening, Cy?”</p><p>He suddenly noticed the intense stares both Andi and Buffy shot his way. He blinked, mouth falling open.<br/>
“Of course,” he said, “You were talking about that… thing.”<br/>
“Wanna try that again?” Buffy asked.<br/>
“Okay, maybe I wasn’t listening.” He shot them an apologetic glance.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Andi asked, “Are you tired? Should we leave?”<br/>
“No,” Cyrus said, “I’m just… distracted.”<br/>
“How?” Buffy snorted, “Your nurse isn’t even here right now.”</p><p>Cyrus was sure his face had instantly changed color, and the expressions of realization spreading on his best friends’ faces confirmed it.<br/>
“Oh!” Andi said, wiggling her eyebrows, “He’s <em>not </em>here.”<br/>
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say,” Cyrus said, but he knew it was a weak attempt.</p><p>“You miss him!”<br/>
“I do not.”<br/>
“You totally do,” Buffy grinned, nudging his shoulder, “You are so whipped.”<br/>
Cyrus crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that.”<br/>
“It’s true, though.”<br/>
“It’s pathetic,” he whined, “I can’t crush on my nurse!”<br/>
“Why not?” Andi frowned.<br/>
“He probably gets that all the time! People crushing on him just because he takes care of them and is nice and has a gorgeous smile, like… he’s probably sick of it, but too professional to let it show.”</p><p>Buffy regarded him with a thoughtful look, her eyes falling to the flowers on the window sill. For days it had only been the purple one. But now it was as if every day she came by, a new one appeared. Next to the purple one, there was now an orange yellow one, and next to that, a bright red one. And she knew for a fact, that neither Andi nor Buffy herself ever brought him flowers.</p><p>“I really don’t think that’s what it is,” she finally said.</p><p>Cyrus sighed. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a stupid crush.”</p><p>His two best friends shared a look.<br/>
“Okay,” Andi said, “We can talk about something else.”</p><p>It didn’t take long for Cyrus’ mind to drift off again. He was trying to pay attention, but it was like invisible strings pulled him further and further away from reality and deeper into his own little world.</p><p>It didn’t matter. It was like a mantra in his head. Words he said to himself over and over again, just so he couldn’t forget them.</p><p>He sighed, staring at the flowers behind his two best friends. Their voices merely a distant noise, like waves rushing over sandbanks.</p><p>
  <em>It didn’t matter. Not one bit. </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>“Psst, Cyrus. You awake?”</p><p>Cyrus wasn’t sure if he had just imagined the voice. But no, there was a TJ, standing right next to him with a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently.</p><p>“Hmm?” Cyrus rubbed his eyes. He could barely make out the shape of TJ’s face in the complete darkness. He tilted his head a bit. “What is it?”</p><p>“Come on,” the nurse nudged his shoulder, “I wanna show you something.”<br/>
Slowly his eyes were adjusting to the darkness. He could make out the sheepish grin on TJ’s face, and the messy condition of his hair. His eyebrows shot over the rims of his glasses, waiting for an answer.<br/>
Cyrus really could do with a warning in advance. His brain was already muddled from sleep and now there was a soft TJ standing right there, looking at him in anticipation.</p><p>He frowned, “Does it require me to get out of bed?”</p><p>“It might.”</p><p>TJ pushed the wheelchair next to his bed. “Come on, I’ll help you.”<br/>
He reached out his hand. Cyrus looked at it. It was a good hand. He wouldn’t mind holding this hand.</p><p>“What are you waiting for?” TJ said, pulling Cyrus out of his hand-holding trance.<br/>
“Uhm,” he gulped, face undoubtedly red, before slowly reaching out to grab the offered hand.</p><p>It also felt like a good hand to hold.</p><p>An arm came around his waist to steady him, as the nurse helped him sit down into the chair.<br/>
“You good?” he asked, and Cyrus nodded.<br/>
TJ pulled his hand away and Cyrus had to force himself to loosen his own grip. The feel of the nurse’s hand in his was still lingering, like a tingle that was slowly fading. He wanted to reach out and grab it again, but he still had enough self-restraint to stop himself from doing so.</p><p>TJ cracked a smile, stepping behind the wheelchair and pushing him out of the room. They were going along the corridor, taking a few turns here and there, without TJ making any indication of stopping.<br/>
“Where are we going?” Cyrus finally asked, when TJ came to stop in front of the elevator. The nurse pushed him inside, pressing a button.<br/>
“You’ll see.”</p><p>Cyrus quickly realized that every floor inside the hospital looked pretty much the same. If he hadn’t known that they’d gone up a few floors, he would’ve been convinced that the elevator hadn’t moved at all. If he were to be left on his own, Cyrus was sure he’d be lost within seconds. But TJ seemed to know exactly where he was going.</p><p>The nurse walked them down another hallway, before they reached a big door, leading outside. It opened automatically once they were close enough, and Cyrus was instantly hit with a cool breeze.<br/>
A stone path led outside through large areas of green. Flowers, bushes, and even small trees were planted in a symmetrical pattern, and there was a small stream flowing through the largest green area, arranged in the middle of the garden. Cyrus could hear the soft gurgle of the water, and the rustling of leaves being moved by the wind.<br/>
Benches were placed on each side of the path, until it reached its end, where a railing enclosed the area. It was dark, save for a few lanterns illuminating the pathway, and the moon and stars shining down from a clear night sky.</p><p>Cyrus didn’t even realize he was gaping, until he heard TJ chuckle behind him. He turned around to face the nurse. “I didn’t know this existed.”<br/>
“Well, if you never leave your room, it’s not really a surprise, is it?” TJ said with a  teasing smirk.<br/>
Cyrus reached behind him to give him an awkward shove. “You could’ve shown me!”<br/>
“I’m showing you now,” he shrugged, pushing them further outside onto the roof garden and towards one of the benches. He pulled the breaks on the wheelchair, before sitting down on the bench next to Cyrus.</p><p>“I thought you might like it,” he said, “And you said there was going to be a meteor shower today. I thought you wouldn’t wanna miss it.”<br/>
Cyrus stared at him. TJ was looking up at the sky, but under the warm light of the lantern Cyrus could swear he saw his cheeks adapting a rosy color.<br/>
“You remembered that?” his voice came out raspy.<br/>
TJ looked back at him.<br/>
“Of course I did.”</p><p>They didn’t have to wait long for the first shooting star to make its way across the sky. But Cyrus couldn’t pull his eyes away from the nurse next to him. TJ was looking up, eyes wide and full of wonder. The soft smile on his face grew with every second, until the corners of his eyes crinkled, and the wind moved through his hair, pushing it from his forehead into every direction, making it even more of a mess.<br/>
Even as more and more stars dashed through the darkness, lighting up the sky, Cyrus only looked at him. </p><p>“I’ve never actually seen a meteor shower before,” TJ said, quietly.<br/>
“Never?”<br/>
TJ shook his head. “It’s pretty awesome,” he let out a breathy laugh, “You ever wish on a shooting star?”<br/>
“I used to, when I was little,” Cyrus shrugged.<br/>
“Yeah?” TJ finally pulled his eyes away from the sky to look at him, “It ever work?”<br/>
“Depended on what I wished for,” he said, “I once wished for a chocolate chocolate-chip muffin, and the next day at school I actually got one!”<br/>
“You wished for a muffin?”<br/>
“I was thirteen!” Cyrus laughed, “And those muffins were really hard to get! I always had to wait in line for an eternity, and all the good ones were always gone when it was finally my turn. This was a big moment for me.”</p><p>TJ shook his head in silent laughter. “You know, it doesn’t actually surprise me that much.”<br/>
“Just because <em>some </em>people can’t appreciate a good muffin,” Cyrus huffed under his breath, making the nurse let out another laugh.</p><p>“You gonna wish for one this time, too?” he heard TJ ask quietly next to him.<br/>
“I might,” Cyrus chuckled, “Since you won’t let me have one.”<br/>
He watched as another shooting star flew across the sky.</p><p>And maybe he did wish for something.</p><p>And maybe it wasn’t for a muffin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cyrus was getting discharged today.</p>
<p>He should feel happy about that. No more monitoring. No more chaperoned bathroom breaks. Getting to eat all the muffins and drink all the milkshakes. And yet, it was accompanied by a feeling of melancholy.</p>
<p>He looked down on himself. It had been ages since he had worn his own clothes instead of the wide hospital gown, and all of his things were in a bag, ready to go. The window sill was empty again. Buffy had already taken the flowers to put them into the car. The window looked lonely without them.</p>
<p>They gave him a pair of crutches. Which were probably a bad idea. Knowing himself, he’d manage to break his other leg trying to walk with them.<br/>
He sighed, glaring at them as they leaned against the hospital bed. TJ had shown him how to use them just the day before. His strong hands holding him so he wouldn’t fall as he continued to stumble over his own feet. The nurse being so close he could feel his breath against his skin, making all of the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand. TJ had smiled at him the entire time, encouraging him, instead of making fun of him for being his clumsy self. Or for being extra clumsy considering that the nurse’s mere presence was all sorts of overwhelming.</p>
<p>Cyrus pushed the memories away. He had to focus on the task at hand: getting out of the hospital without breaking more of his bones.</p>
<p>There was a soft knock on the door and his head whipped around. TJ was standing there, holding a small box in his hands.<br/>
“Hey,” he smiled, coming into the room, “Ready to return into the real word?”<br/>
“I don’t know,” Cyrus said, “I might have to come back right away. I swear these things have a personal grudge against me.” He eyed the crutches warily.</p>
<p>TJ snorted. “You could’ve taken a wheelchair, too.”<br/>
“With these noodles of arms? I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head, a cold shiver running down his spine just thinking about trying to get an entire wheelchair to cooperate by himself over an undetermined amount of time.<br/>
“It’s really not that difficult,” TJ chuckled, “You seemed to be doing okay when you sat in one a few days ago.”<br/>
“You pushed me for most of that,” Cyrus pointed out.<br/>
“But you pushed it yourself for like… an entire minute or so!” the nurse said, a teasing glint in his eyes.<br/>
“Well, if I have to decide between a death trap that will cause me to fall and break bones, or one that could literally roll away with me and cause me to die, I think I’d rather take the fall.”</p>
<p>TJ didn’t say anything at that, but he had that soft expression on his face. The one that he seemed to have a lot whenever he looked at Cyrus. The one that made Cyrus weak in his knees and melt a little inside. The one that made his heart spike up and his palms sweaty. He hated that expression. It should go rot in hell.</p>
<p>“Uhm,” TJ finally said, “I got you something.”<br/>
He held the box in his hands out to him, and Cyrus took it.<br/>
“Since you’re leaving today and all that,” TJ said, rubbing the back of his neck, “See it as a congratulations of sorts.”<br/>
“For surviving my time in hospital?” Cyrus snorted.<br/>
“Sure,” TJ shrugged, “I thought it was fitting for the occasion.”</p>
<p>Cyrus opened the box, his face immediately lighting up when he saw what was inside.<br/>
“Is that…” he looked back up at TJ, an enormous grin spreading on his face, “A chocolate chocolate-chip muffin?”<br/>
“It sure is.”<br/>
“You’re giving me a chocolate chocolate-chip muffin?”<br/>
“You said you liked them.”<br/>
“I do. I love them,” Cyrus smiled, “And I really get to eat it? Even though it has ‘unhealthy amounts of sugar’ in it?”<br/>
He tried to imitate the way TJ had said it days ago and failed miserably. But it made the nurse let out a small laugh, so he counted it as a success.<br/>
“Well, seeing as you’re not my responsibility anymore, I can’t really stop you, can I?”<br/>
“I guess not,” Cyrus said.</p>
<p>“Cyrus?” there was a voice at the door, “You ready to go?”</p>
<p>Buffy was standing in the doorway, her eyebrows raised in a questioning manner.<br/>
Cyrus sighed, his smile fading a bit.<br/>
“Yeah, just give me a minute,” he said, before adding jokingly, “Or maybe half an hour. It might take a while for me to even make it out of the room on these things.” He nodded towards the crutches.</p>
<p>“I can always help you, Cy,” Buffy rolled her eyes.<br/>
“Nah,” he made a dismissing hand gesture, “I got this.”</p>
<p>She didn’t look entirely convinced, but didn’t inquire further. Shrugging, she turned back out of the room.</p>
<p>“So,” Cyrus looked back at TJ, “I guess this is it then.”<br/>
“I guess so.”<br/>
TJ looked at the ground, a hand running through his hair, causing some of the strands break free from their form. His eyes found their way back up to look at Cyrus once more.</p>
<p>“Goodbye, Cyrus,” he said, a soft smile displaying on his lips.</p>
<p>“Goodbye, TJ.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“So?” Buffy and Andi looked at him expectantly, “Did you say anything?”<br/>
Cyrus shook his head. “Nope.”<br/>
“Why not?” his best friends exclaimed scarily at the same time.</p>
<p>“It’s nothing,” he said, looking away, “It didn’t mean anything.”<br/>
“Come one, haven’t you seen the way he looks at you?” Buffy scoffed, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more serious case of heart-eyes.”<br/>
“It’s almost disgusting, if it weren’t so adorable,” Andi added, nodding.<br/>
Cyrus sighed. “It’s not that simple,” he said, “He’s a nurse. He has to be nice to people. It’s literally his job. I’m just another patient with a pathetic crush.”</p>
<p>“You mean just like it’s his job to bring patients flowers?” Buffy raised her eyebrows.</p>
<p>“It’s not like that. He just wanted to ensure that my stay was as comfortable as possible. You know, like a nurse does.”</p>
<p>“Cyrus,” he was pretty sure Buffy would shove him if he wasn’t already wobbly on the crutches, “You’re an idiot.”</p>
<p>She opened the car door and Cyrus let himself fall more or less gracefully onto the backseat, putting the crutches in beside him. He put his backpack on his knees, opening it to look for his phone. He had thrown it in there in a hurry, and now he regretted it. A lot. It must’ve slipped somewhere to the bottom, so he started to take out bigger items that were in the way.</p>
<p>”What’s that?”</p>
<p>He looked up. Andi was pointing at the box TJ had given him.<br/>
“Just something TJ gave me,” he tried to say as nonchalantly as he could manage. Which was probably not at all.</p>
<p>His two best friends’ eyes widened almost comically.<br/>
“He gave you something?” they exclaimed.</p>
<p>“It’s not a big deal,” Cyrus murmured, not meeting their eyes, “It’s just a muffin.”</p>
<p>“He gave you a muffin?”<br/>
“After you begged for one for the better part of two weeks?”<br/>
“And he told you no every time?”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Cyrus frowned, “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a muffin.”</p>
<p>“It’s not just a muffin!” Buffy now actually shoved his shoulder, “It’s an ‘I’m hopelessly in love with you so fucking do something about it’!”</p>
<p>“Can we please just go?”<br/>
Both Buffy and Andi looked like they wanted to protest, but Cyrus shot them another pleading look. They sighed.<br/>
“Okay, Cyrus,” Buffy said, “If you’re really sure, we can drive away right now.”</p>
<p>She looked intently at him, not moving even an inch, obviously waiting for his confirmation that yes, he wanted to go, and yes, he really was sure about that.</p>
<p>“It’s just a muffin,” Cyrus repeated weakly, instead.<br/>
“Do you really think that?”</p>
<p>He bit his lower lip, eyes falling back to the hospital entrance.</p>
<p>“I gotta go.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Cyrus didn’t think he would ever manage to walk that fast with his crutches ever again. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure how he got this far without stumbling and falling to his death in the first place, but all he could think about was that stupid muffin and that stupid face with that stupid smile and he just had to know. Was it all in his head?</p>
<p>That whole thing proved to be a rather stupid idea quite fast. As soon as Cyrus stepped foot inside the hospital he remembered that he actually had no idea where to go. TJ was still on duty. Maybe this was a bad idea. He shouldn’t do this while the nurse was still working. That would be rude. And unprofessional on so many levels.<br/>
He was about to turn around again, when he suddenly heard a voice behind him.</p>
<p>“Cyrus?”</p>
<p>TJ was walking towards him, a look of confusion on his face.<br/>
“Uhm,” Cyrus should’ve really planned ahead, “Hey.”<br/>
“Is everything alright?” the nurse looked him over, “You didn’t already break something else, did you?”</p>
<p>“No, I...” he stopped again. Words were a fascinating thing. They only ever came when they felt like it.<br/>
He stared at the nurse, dumbfounded.<br/>
“I forgot something,” he blurted out. He wanted to smack himself, but well, here he went.<br/>
“What did you forget? I could go get it for you, so you don’t have to walk back to your room,” TJ said, before adding, “Honestly, I also wouldn’t want to force you to walk more than necessary with those ‘death traps’.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, no,” Cyrus gulped, “I forgot something else.”<br/>
TJ looked at him, waiting.<br/>
He should probably say something. Anything, really.<br/>
“Uhm. You know what?” he shook his head, “Never mind. It’s nothing.”</p>
<p>He was about to turn back around when he felt a hand holding him back. TJ’s grip was light. He could probably brush his hand off without much effort. But he didn’t.</p>
<p>“What if I forgot something, too?”</p>
<p>Cyrus looked up to face the nurse. He gulped at how close they were standing. He could almost count the golden specks in TJ’s green eyes.<br/>
“Did you?” Cyrus pressed out, his throat feeling awfully tight. This was way too stressful. Doing this at all was already a bad idea, but doing this without a game plan was bound to be an absolute train wreck.<br/>
TJ nodded, taking a deep breath and holding out a piece of paper to him. It was crumpled, as if it had been hastily ripped out of a notebook and shoved into a pocket.</p>
<p>“What’s that?” Cyrus asked, his voice dry.</p>
<p>The nurse hesitated, “My number…. If you want it.”</p>
<p>Cyrus blinked at him, his mouth falling open. He wanted to reach out and take the paper, but it was as if he had been frozen into place. His eyes flickered down to where the nurse was holding it, and back up. He could see TJ’s throat moving as he swallowed, biting his lower lip.</p>
<p>“I mean, I understand if you don’t want it. I was just… I don’t know,” TJ started rambling after Cyrus had been quiet for what felt like ages, just gaping at him, “It’s cool, really. I didn’t mean to make it awkward. Sorry, I just wasn’t sure if I misread the signs and I-“</p>
<p>Cyrus wasn’t sure when exactly he had moved. He just knew that suddenly he was definitely in TJ’s personal bubble. Taking the paper from TJ’s hands, his fingers faintly brushing his, he pushed himself up a bit to press his lips to the nurse’s cheek.</p>
<p>TJ fell silent, staring wide eyed at Cyrus.</p>
<p>“Was that okay?” Cyrus managed to say.</p>
<p>TJ’s hands came up to carefully cup his face. He leaned in, stopping just mere millimeters in front of him, giving him a chance to pull away. But Cyrus didn’t move, his eyes flickering from the nurse’s lips up to his eyes, and back down again.<br/>
“Yeah, I think it was,” TJ breathed, and then he connected their lips. And maybe Cyrus’ mind when completely blank and maybe he lost his balance a bit, but TJ was holding him, and kissing him, and that was all that mattered.    </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Cyrus used to wish on shooting stars a lot when he was younger. His wishes never really came true, except for that one time when he wished for a muffin when he was thirteen. And that one time when he wished to hold TJ’s hand when he was twenty-three.</p>
<p>Looking down to where TJ’s hand was holding his, fingers interlocked and shoulders pressed together, he wasn’t sure why he had ever stopped in the first place.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading and the comments you left!<br/>I really hope you liked it! :))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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